Saturday, March 05, 2005
Update on Chicago Judge
Update: News out of Wisconsin indicates the Lefkow shootings might have been the work of a genuine nut job. I still won't apologize to Matt Hale.
Now I'm hearing that there were several shots fired in the house. I guess that means the killers missed a couple while cleaning up the brass. I take back my earlier analysis. This screams incompetent, hate-numbed, idiots who have seen Law and Order one too many times. Idiots pissed off FBI, Marshals, and CPD, which, of course, calls for a variation on the old joke.
Attorney General wants to test the abilities of various law enforcement agencies to rack suspects, so he releases a rabbit into a Federal forest reserve and tasks teams from the Marshals, FBI, and Chicago PD to find it. The FBI team goes in first, searches up and down the forest, isn't heard from for two weeks. Finally they re-emerge and tell the Attorney General that they found the rabbit, interrogated the rabbit, decided the rabbit didn't know anything worth holding him for, and let him go. Attorney General says, "Bullsh**. You didn't find the rabbit, your just covering your ***es. The Marshal team goes in next, vanishing into the forest for two days. When they re-emerge, the head Marshal tells the Attorney that the rabbit agreed to turn state's witness and has been enrolled in the Witness Protection Program, location: classified. Attorney General says "Bullsh**. You didn't find the rabbit, get out of my sight. Finally, Chicago PD goes into the forest. After 45 minutes a bear comes stumbling out. The bear is bleeding from several wounds, missing patches of hair, bruised all over, and has an eye swollen shut. The bear sees the Attorney General and screams "alright, alright I'm a f*cking Rabbit!!!"
Anyway, I hope the two bastards are caught and brought to justice quickly. People gotta learn you don't f*ck with the Feds. Are you listening Mr. Matt Hale?? Because this sure sounds like the work of a couple of your Krazy, Kooky, Klowns.
Now I'm hearing that there were several shots fired in the house. I guess that means the killers missed a couple while cleaning up the brass. I take back my earlier analysis. This screams incompetent, hate-numbed, idiots who have seen Law and Order one too many times. Idiots pissed off FBI, Marshals, and CPD, which, of course, calls for a variation on the old joke.
Attorney General wants to test the abilities of various law enforcement agencies to rack suspects, so he releases a rabbit into a Federal forest reserve and tasks teams from the Marshals, FBI, and Chicago PD to find it. The FBI team goes in first, searches up and down the forest, isn't heard from for two weeks. Finally they re-emerge and tell the Attorney General that they found the rabbit, interrogated the rabbit, decided the rabbit didn't know anything worth holding him for, and let him go. Attorney General says, "Bullsh**. You didn't find the rabbit, your just covering your ***es. The Marshal team goes in next, vanishing into the forest for two days. When they re-emerge, the head Marshal tells the Attorney that the rabbit agreed to turn state's witness and has been enrolled in the Witness Protection Program, location: classified. Attorney General says "Bullsh**. You didn't find the rabbit, get out of my sight. Finally, Chicago PD goes into the forest. After 45 minutes a bear comes stumbling out. The bear is bleeding from several wounds, missing patches of hair, bruised all over, and has an eye swollen shut. The bear sees the Attorney General and screams "alright, alright I'm a f*cking Rabbit!!!"
Anyway, I hope the two bastards are caught and brought to justice quickly. People gotta learn you don't f*ck with the Feds. Are you listening Mr. Matt Hale?? Because this sure sounds like the work of a couple of your Krazy, Kooky, Klowns.
