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Tuesday, November 08, 2005

 

France Burning

Okay, I've held off on posting about the insurrection in France, but I've reached the end of my tether.
Some brief points- (as understood from media coverage)
1. There is no insurrection. This is merely a charity act by Muslim youths to bolster France's failing car dealerships.
2. There is no insurrection. Young Muslim youths are simply insuring that the French auto industry remains Koran Kompliant.
3. If there is an insurrection, it's because George Bush invaded Iraq, and thereby distracted Chirac from the concerns of the Muslim youths now protesting their marginalization.
4. If George Bush is not to blame, improbable as that may seem, than the "protests" must be the work of the Jews.
5. Okay, let's face it. Of course this is the work of the Jews, but it's not what you think. There wasn't some grand Zionist design to sully the image of Islam in France, its just that things kind of got out of hand. You see, if you want to blame any one Jew, you really have to blame me.
That's right, it's all my fault. It started with a correspondence class I offered to some Muslim youths, and just sort of spiraled out from there.
Laugh if you will, but there really is a market for preparing students to take the difficult Al-Qaeda entrance exams. Anyway, it was during a session on urban operations, and Hassim was having some difficulty with the theoretical methods of car burning. Stupid, stupid me. I suggested that he try a few experimental practical demonstrations, explaining that a few extra car burnings would be lost among the regular nightly burnings.
Let's face it folks, computer security is very important. Apparently, Hassim's email account was compromised, and my message got forwarded to about 300 of his closest friends. Next thing I know, I'm seeing night one of the "non-insurrection" on the nightly news. Talk about your wild, out of hand, classroom experiences. Anyway, I've tried to be quiet, but I can't hide my shame anymore. Yes, there is a Jew behind the car burnings in France, but it is only foolish, little me, not a grander Zionist plot.
So, when Hassim and his buddies get around to burning the cemeteries where those who died to make France free lie, I'll take full responsibility. But if they nail a vineyard, that's not my problem; the French should know to secure their important stuff by now.

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